I sat on the play mat in front of the sofa playing with my toys and gibbering happily around my dummy. I had come to accept and enjoy my life as a toddler. What did I used to do? What would I think about? What did I even used to enjoy? I remembered going through the motions of an adult life but I had been in this position so long now it was all starting to slip away from me. In truth I was starting to forget these things myself. I gazed up at her, taking in her beatiful face as she looked at whatever grownup things she looked at. Mummy was sitting on the couch sipping her coffee and looking at her phone. ![]() We’d love to hear from anyone who has used this strategy with their partner ❤️ The exact rules and conditions can be tweaked to suit you both but this only really works for near 24/7 wearing where it will be a big change & decision to make. The hardest part will be messy changes and we understand if this is a limit for you, but still do the check before allowing them to change as you need to normalize that they now use diapers for everything. If possible, try take control of all their checks and changes, set a schedule to get into the routine of this which is now possible as it’s consistent and 24/7. This is also a great time to get more involved in their diaper discipline. Try normalize it as much as possible in your home with a dedicated changing area and diapers visible. The best advice we’d heard is just try switch your thinking to be that your partner is completely incontinent and they NEED to be wearing diapers. It’s very easy to add additional excuses for not wearing which quickly expand until the whole thing falling apart which is bad for everyone. If they do decide option 1 it’s critical that you stick to your word and fully commit. Whatever you decide this will apply for the next 3 months with no negotiations.” ![]() I want you to think this over carefully over the next 2 days and then on Saturday morning if you want option 1, you hand me all your underwear. You can continue to wear diapers when you want but I’m not getting involved and you can’t ask me to enforce diaper wearing, check/change you etc. I’ll give you underwear or pull ups on the days you go to work or we’re visiting family. We can discuss my exact role but it would be consistent every day such as checking you every 2 hours and doing wet diaper changes.Ģ. I’ll treat you as if you’re incontinent so I will expect you to be always diapered and that you won’t use the toilet. You move to wearing diapers 24/7 apart from work and family events. So I want you to make a decision of what you want from these two options:ġ. ![]() “ I’m finding it stressful not knowing when you’re wearing diapers and what my role should be, and I know it’s also causing you anxiety. We didn’t do this ourselves but have talked to couples who have and the most common scenario we’ve heard people using is something along the lines of: This decision is something they’ll have to stick to for a meaningful amount of time, at the minimum 1 month but ideally it should be 3-6 months before being reviewed again. The core concept is you give them an ultimatum and a clear choice about diaper wearing which they have to consider and make a decision on. We know many partners find they’re constantly guessing what their role should be which is even harder if one day they want 24/7 diapers and another don’t wear at all. It’s also helpful if you as their partner wants more structure and consistency in their diaper wearing. ![]() This idea is covered in stories a lot but it can also work well in real life in you have a partner who wants to wear most of the time but still struggles to accept themself or has stress/anxiety induced by trying to decide if they should be diapered etc.
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